Kolumni

Dining with Finns

19.8.2010 0:01 Mary Nurminen

Help! You're invited to a Finnish friend's for dinner, the very first time you'll be having dinner with Finns. Well, besides in the lunch room at work, but that is a different thing altogether. You want everything to go well, you don't want to screw up or embarrass yourself, but you have no idea what to expect.

Never fear, I've put together some questions and answers to prepare you.

Question: You get to your host's house, they invite you in, and then you sit together in the living room and chat. At some point the hostess comes in and says, "OK, dinner is ready! Please join us at the table." The man grunts, "Thanks" and continues to chat, making no move to get up. What should you do?

Answer: Absolutely nothing. Just continue to sit and chat.

The hostess will come back 2 more times to announce that food is ready, and on the 3rd time, when she's starting to sound a bit irritated, then you and the host stand up and go to the kitchen.

Question: Why do you have to wait for the 3rd time? That's not very straightforward nor logical, and aren't Finns supposed to be logical?

Answer: I've searched for an answer to this question for 22 years. I'm sorry to report to you that I've never found one.

Question: You've got all your food on your plate, you've thrown it all together and stirred it up a bit like others are doing. Then someone passes you the bread. Oh no! There's no more room on your plate for it! What are you supposed to do?

Answer: Never put bread on your plate, no matter what. That plate is no place for bread! I've seen Finns with a completely empty plate in front of them, yet they plop their bread down to the side of it on the table.

If you want to be really Finnish, you could eat with a fork in one hand and your bread in the other. This will also help you to eat faster, which is considered a virtue at some dinner tables.

Question: It seems the only drink they're serving with dinner is milk. Where I am from, milk is a drink for children only. Can I ask for some other drink?

Answer: You could make up some lie about having some kind of allergy to fresh milk and ask for water (lactose intolerance won't work because they likely have at least 1 person in the family with that so will offer you lactose-free milk). Or just drink the milk - what's wrong with it anyway? It's a great drink! (sorry, I also come from a milk-drinking place).

Question: You're eating and suddenly the person sitting next to you reaches over across your face to get the milk. He doesn't ask you to give it to him, even though you would do it for him and it would be a lot easier that way. Should you offer to get it for him?

Answer: Forget it. He's just being a normal Finn. Just let him get his milk and try to stay out of the way.

Question: Dinner is over and everyone gets up from the table. They all mumble 'kiitos' but you aren't sure who they are saying it to: the cook? The host who invited you? The family teenager who set the table? Who should you be thanking?

Answer: Well, even if the cook is the last one at the table, you still might hear her say 'kiitos' when she gets up, so it's a bit unclear who the 'kiitos' is for at times. But, especially if the food was excellent and you hope to be invited again, play it safe and thank the cook.

Vocabulary: Screw up: make mistakes, Grunt: murahdella, Virtue: hyve.

Mary Nurminen pähkäilee suomen kielen ja suomalaispsyykkeen kiemuroita.

Kommentoi artikkelia